Spa Day For Serena

I've been reading a lot about bike commuting lately and one thing that keeps coming up is how you should keep your bike clean in general and make sure you keep your chain clean and lubed (tee hee).  So, since I've never once washed Serena I decided today was a good day to give her a spa day.

As is the case with just about anything I do these days, my first stop was to go on YouTube and watch a demo.  The first one was by some woman who seemed like a self righteous wench so I ended up following one by a dude who seemed pretty cool and ran a bike shop in Texas.  After acquiring the needed knowledge, I went outside to do some proper bike cleaning.

There's Serena, all naked and ready for her bath.  I know Serena looks spectacular just how she is, but if you look close, she's pretty filthy (below)

I figured washing my bike should be pretty much like washing a car so I got all the car washing crap out of the garage and got to it.  In no time flat, Serena was clean as a whistle and lookin better than ever:



Next step was cleaning and lubing the chain.  Yes, I said lube.  I didn't want Serena to rest on the hard ground so I got a couple of my kids pool floaties and put Serena on those so she'd be comfy for when I lubed her up....hahahahha

I didn't think I needed fancy and expensive bike cleaner stuff and tools so I used the greatest product ever made on Earth:  Simple Green and a toothbrush.

Wow!  Look how filthy that toothbrush is.  The scary part is I hadn't used it on Serena yet, that's just from brushing my teeth.

Now that there is a clean chain baby!  The amount of gunk the Serena's chain had accumulated was a shocker

Check out that filth (above).  Serena was clean and on her back, now it was time to lube her up and get busy (so great)....Lube shown was compliments of Captain Tim.  This shit ain't just flow lube, its TRI-flow lube.  That's like three times just regular lube.

While I was lubing Serena and cranking her chain, I noticed her back wheel seemed to have a wobble.  After checking YouTube again, I determined that Serena's wobbler is an out of shape wheel that needs to be 'Trued' (whatever the fuck that means) so, I was off to Orange Cycle to get my girl fixed up. 

When I walked in to Orange Cycle and explained what I was looking for to the dude, he said "Jour wheel ees a crooked, deed jew get ehit by a car?" I told him I had not been hit by a car, then he looked at my gut, we had an uncomfortable silence and he told me he could fix Serena so he took her in back.  Dude didn't even compliment me on the lube job I did...where's the love?

While I was inside Orange Cycle, I saw the newer model of Serena.  This badboy has front and back disc breaks.  I loves my bike, but DANG that's a sexy ride.

I also took a peek in the fashion section at Orange Cycle to see if I could get some ideas on getting a better riding look.  They had bike shorts that were attached to shoulder straps like one of those wrestling singlet things....very lame looking.  They also had lots of shirts like this little number.  I should get one of these in a small and wear it all the time to impress the ladies:

Half an hour and twenty-two bucks later, Serena was all fixed up and ready to roll again.  I loaded Serena in the van and got home to complete my final step in getting her all gussied up for this week's commute...checking my air pressure.  The tires were a tad low so I pumped'em up.  Looking at this photo I see that my Howard Huguesesque toenails could use some attention too. 

The whole Serena spa day experience took a hell of a lot longer than I thought it would but it demonstrates the importance of maintaining your ride.  Serena had a dirty, poorly lubricated chain, a wobbly wheel, and a broken spoke.  Who knows what would have happened on the SART this week if I had gone out with a poorly maintained Serena?  Chances are I could have broke down on the SART and then been claimed as a he-wife by one of those frisky bums living under the bridges.  Long live proper bike maintenance and long live Serena!