Showing posts with label kale. Show all posts
Showing posts with label kale. Show all posts
Saturday, June 23, 2012
Master Craftsman of the Smoothie
Check it out, the first smoothie made my me in the Vitamix 5200. I added lots of strawberries and grapes trying to make it red but the spirulina and kale just trumps everything so it was a green one with some silent red. That baby went down real smooth after my bike ride. Its good that I'm going healthy right now because I'll be going to Angels Stadium tonight with Captain Tim and the wives and I'm guessing there will be some beers consumed..
Tuesday, June 19, 2012
The Vitamix Rides Again!
This morning, I flew out of bed at 6:30am (pretty good for an unemployed dude) and went for a big run (three miles....which was tougher than it should have been for me) and was powerful hungry when I got home. Since I'm master of my own destiny now I figured I better figure out how to use the Vitamix 5200 on my own. So, just before my wife went to the gym, I ordered her to show me how to work the Vitamix at once.
I put way too much spirulina in so she took over from there adding cinnamon.(above)
After the powdery substances, you add the fruits, kale, and anything else you want to go in there. At one point, the wife said "I need a banana" and I replied with "Whoooa babe! The kids are awake!" She doesn't think I'm funny.
This part is key...after you add all the ingredients, you put it on variable speed level 1 and turn it on. Then...you gradually increase the Vitamix 5200 speed from 1 to 7 (Lord only knows what happens if you blast that sucker all the way to 10). Once it gets going at level 7, you hit high and watch it just liquefy the shit out of everything in the container.
After about 30 seconds on high, you power down the Vitamix 5200 and you're left with a delicious and nutritious green smoothie. The one above is extra green because of my spirulina overload. This morning's smoothie had a very earthy taste to be sure.
Monday, January 16, 2012
Getting My Bike Commute On!
That's the bike commuter's special right there, the old Topeak MXK bag making its way into the office!
I decided to ride today even though its cold and wet. Went to the gym too so I'll be getting in a good hour of cardio with the ride and a sexy upper body workout. I'm sure my locker's going to smell great when I get there after work and change for the ride home.
If you recall, last Friday I experimented with a low light ride home to test out the new bike lights. Today I think I'm going to try and wait until the sun is down and see how she does in the true darkness.
On the food front, this weekend wasn't the best in terms of nutrition and caloric intake but I did pretty good overall so I'm not really sweating it. The kale and spirulina shakes are still a major part of what I'm eating and I still feel energetic and great, but my farts are just off the charts awesome. I've got so much gas these days, the execs from Chevron and Exxon-Mobile are negotiating with me to hook a hose up to my ass as a new source of renewable energy.
Wednesday, January 11, 2012
Learning to Live With Our Juicer
Here's me, bright and early this morning, enjoying a nice full glass of kale, apples, carrot, and my good friend spirulina for a nice, refreshing breakfast. You see, the wife got out of bed early and before I even got in the shower, I could hear the Vitamix 5200 springing to life. I knew there would be no solid food for me on this fine morning. Apparently the wife thinks the kids should be part of the Vitamix revolution too. Here they are this am, trying their best to look like they enjoy their blended concoctions. (My youngest daughter said it tastes like grass and toilet paper). - Side Note: I realize I look like a pile of warmed up poop in the above photo, but what the hell, they ain't all golden and I'm more of a natural light kind of guy.
Long story short, the Vitamix 5200 is here to stay and the wife seems to be in love with it. Granted, mixing in fruit and veg juices on a regular basis is going to be much healthier and truth be told, I didn't get hungry last night, slept fantastic, and was two pounds lighter when I got on the scale this am. The jury is still out on the not being hungry part since we watched a show last night that featured these three weirdos living in San Francisco who are 'polyamorists' meaning they're allowed to have many loves. This particular 'triad' was two dumpy dudes with beards and some old broad with purple hair and an ass as wide as Ohio who all slept in the same bed and screwed each other. Every time the wife person wanted one of the dudes to nail her, she'd raise her eyebrows up and down really fast like one of those old silent movie people and say "Wanna go snuggle?". The whole thing made me want to puke so I'm not sure if my fruit and veg drink and soup for dinner was what had me feeling full or just the disgust I felt at 'Wanna snuggle?'. Long story short though, outside of outrageous farts that smell like earth and mint, I'm feeling pretty darn good and I'm not hungry so good on me.
Of course, with all change comes a learning curve. Last night, after I drank my incredibly strong smoothie and nearly barfed, the wife announced that she had mistakenly used three times as much kale as you're supposed to in the recipe. I nearly panicked thinking I was going to die but she assured me I'd be ok. Then, this morning, the wife forgot to start the Vitamix 5200 on low when she was cleaning it and the soapy water mixture shot half way up the side of our cabinets in the kitchen. Looked like Peter North had been by the house and done his magic on my cherry wood!
I'm not totally sold on the idea of doing a full juice fast, but I do have to say I'm surprised that its pretty good stuff and I'm feeling alright. I'll allow the Vitamix 5200 to stay with us for a while longer to see how it goes.
Tuesday, January 10, 2012
I Have Officially Gone Crazy
Today is officially the day that I've gone from some dude who wants to get in shape to a stark raving mad moron who will go for any gimmick that comes his way. Not two hours after leaving the house this am, the wife went out and purchased the Vitamix 5200. It juices, it blends, it makes soups, it even gives great blow jobs! Anywho, we've got one and now the Mrs. wants to make juice out of everything in the house. I'm going to have to hide my shoes for fuck's sake!
The video below is our first attempt at making an organic fruit and veg drink similar to the ones they drank in 'Fat, Sick, and Nearly Dead'. Enjoy (warning, the freaking noise is off the charts):
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)








