Wednesday, November 23, 2011

Well Happy Thanksgiving there pilgrim! This is the type of Native American I visualized when I was first told about the first Thanksgiving and I think its probably exactly how they looked. Welcome to the Thanksgiving edition of Gut Chronicles. I'll give it to you in little bits:

  • I worked out this am but it was tough since I have major chafing of the undercarriage from all the running and an ingrown hair the size of a pine cone on my inner thigh.  I combatted these ailments with zit cream that passed its expiration date a year ago and the runner's best friend, something called 'Glide Stick'.  Glide stick looks like deoderant but its a lubricant and you rub it all over your nuts, inner thighs, and sometimes your two hole to avoid chaffing.  Appetizing isn't it?
  • Next, my advice for staying healthy during thanksgiving is...don't do it.  I advise you to eat everything in mass quantities and drink lots of booze.  America is going straight down the shit pipe and Thanksgiving is one of the few American traditions we can still celebrate without any lame ass interference from anyone or some group getting their feelings hurt.  It's American, its excessive, there's football, and you should enjoy it while you still can.
  • Fooball you say?  Take the San Francisco 49ers who are getting three points on Thanksgiving.  Holy shit man, talk about free money!  49ers have won eight in a row against the spread and they're underdogs against a Baltimore team that recentlygot whipped by the Seahawks?  Stuff that in you turkey.

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