Saturday, July 30, 2011
I got my ass outta bed this morning and was in no mood whatsoever to exercise. After having a cup of coffee and dropping a deuce that will live in legend and folklore forever, I settled into a comfortable chair to check fantasy baseball, waste time on Facebook, and convince myself that I had exercised enough this week.
Lucky for me, my youngest daughter wasn't about to let her old man puss out on his Saturday run. Within ten minutes of me starting my slow slide into a slothful, exercise free Saturday, my kid was out of bed and telling me she wanted to ride her bike while I ran. I took my daughter's smiling face and sparkling eyes as a sign that I should get up, put m'shoes on, and take to the trail. The video above is my pre-run pep talk
Here we are at the half way point. I'm pretty sure my hart rate was at about 372bpm. My daughter was still raring to go and there was no backing out now since I still had to run my ass back. I was feeling good. As a side note, check out the old lady who's wearing Hulk hands who comes walking into the shot. Strange!
After 45 minutes, we made it home. Here's the kiddo's take on my run and her ride. Let me tell you something, I feel embarrassed to say I'm proud of myself for running behind a six year old girl on a bike for 45 minutes, but that little nugget can ride! Sweet mother of crap, towards the end, I kept having to tell her to slow the hell down so I could catch up! Ultimately, going for a run with my kid was awesome. It really broke up the monotony of my workouts, we got to bond, and I got my exercise in before I had a chance to talk myself out of it. Quest for Thunderlips The Ultimate Male is alive and well!
As a side note, if you're a single guy out there and you want to meet some ladies, go for a run with a cute little six year old girl riding her girlie bike in front of you...apparently chicks SERIOUSLY dig that.
Friday, July 29, 2011
When I woke up this morning, I felt completely unmotivated to ride in to work. Luckily, my lovely wife's gentle motivation gave me the lift I needed to climb in the saddle and ride like the wind. The conversation was as follows:
Me (laying in bed being lazy): "I don't think I'm going to ride in this morning"
Wife (with a look of surprise on her face): "WHY NOT?!?"
The translation of my wife's comment was "Hey chubby, get your fat ass out of bed, get on that bike of yours and pedal yourself to work!" Fair enough, just because I don't wanna doesn't mean I shouldn't.
Soon after I started my ride, I saw some gal walking her Paris Hilton style dog. Normally this wouldn't be anything to write about, but said gal was wearing nothing but a t-shirt (I'm guessing she had undergarments on as well). Seeing t-shirt wearing dog walker chick was awesome but the rest of the ride in was pedestrian by my standards. Nevertheless, I still managed to work up a good sweat and feel good about myself. The action at the gym in the men's locker room was lively. Some old fart was yelling (and I do mean yelling) at two other dudes about social security and the current debt crisis. Of course, as is typical with old men in the gym, this whole shouting match was taking place less than an arm's length apart, in the nude, old balls all hangin down to their knees, just gross. Maybe if all political debates took place with old naked men shouting at each other, things would get done more quickly....who knows!
I'm glad its the weekend because my nutrition and exercise routine is kind of starting to wear on me. When I did some research last night on my Internet machine, the mighty world wide web told me that I need to 'spice it up' or 'mix things up' or 'make a change' so this weekend, I'm going to figure out some different stuff to do so I can keep meself motivated and continue full steam ahead on my quest to be Thunderlips, the Ultimate Male.
Thursday, July 28, 2011
I came into the office all serious and lame and then I saw Koko, always upbeat and positive. Koko gave me the big thumbs up and said 'Good morning Boss!'. Awesome. She's on my side.
One major challenge today is that the In N Out truck will be here for a charity fundraiser....must avoid
Wednesday, July 27, 2011
Truth be told, I didn't ride into work this am because me legs are tired and I've got some serious chaffing going on in the undercarriage. So, ultimately I decided to give the SART a break. One thing I did notice yesterday on the SART is that the senoritas are out in full force trying to tone it up on the SART. Many of them look like they're built for hard labor, but still, I'm proud of the female patrons of the SART, its nice to have something to look at other than hobos and guys who take bike riding more serious than life itself.
As far as last night goes, I had zero cookies and zero cake (the wife baked) so I'm proud of myself. On the bad side, in order to stop myself from indulging in baked goods, I had a fair amount of vino. Oh well, the French live forever so it can't be all that bad.
Food journal from yesterday:
Breakfast - Cottage cheese and peaches
Snack - handful of almonds
Lunch - Turkey breast stuffed bell pepper
Dinner - 4% lean ground beef patty with a small amount of swiss cheese and grilled veggies
Extras - three glasses of red wine (read to mean a whole bottle)
- 7 mile ride to work on the SART
- 20 minutes of inense interval training on the treadmill at lunch followed by stretching and light ab work
- 7 mile ride home on the SART
Tuesday, July 26, 2011
I got home tonight to find the above scene. While I appreciate the wife making baked goods, I'm feeling like a crack whore who just got out of rehab....I want them cookies. I know what you're saying...'Oh Jon-O, one wont hurt you. Just have a cookie and stop." WRONG. Those of you who know me well fully understand that there is no one cookie with me. I have to have all the cookies. ALL OF THEM DAMIT!
Hopefully I can avoid the temptation.
On the other hand, who wants to bet me that I can't gain back all 13 pounds tonight?
Monday, July 25, 2011
On the Quest for Thunderlips front, I'm in town this entire week so I'm dead set on lots of exercise and perfect nutrition. Being home for a full week is a rarity for me so I want to make the most of it. On top of that, my pants are starting to feel a bit loose and I don't feel like I'm going to die every time I ride to work. I think this program is starting to pay off. Who ever would have guessed that not eating like a pig every day and working out would make you lose weight? CRAZY!
Sunday, July 24, 2011
This morning I decided to let my girls ride with me while I ran the Santiago Creek Trail. Motivation to exercise was extremely low so I needed something to entertain me and break up the monotony. The above video is Akemi, giving me a pep talk before we took off on our run/ride.
We got underway and I was feeling good. About a mile and a half into the run, I was huffin and puffin but I still kept'er going.
When it was all said and done, I put in about four miles with the kids in tow. I wouldn't say it was the most strenuous workout in history but I got it done and had some good bonding time with the girls. Now I'm sitting here, in my own sweat, blogging while the smell of my egg white omelet fills the air and mingles with the pungent odor of ballsweat....ahhh, the perfect Sunday!
Saturday, July 23, 2011
Wednesday, July 20, 2011
Food Journal from Yesterday:
Breakfast - Flaxcakes and raspberries
Lunch - An apple. This is bad, but I felt something crazy happening in my gut so I didn't want to risk it
Snack before soccer game - Swiss cheese and some almonds
Dinner - Lean pot roast, peas, carrots, onions
Night snack - half a peach
Workout from yesterday:
Two seven mile bike rides
One hour long frenzy of running up and down a soccer field trying to coach a girls U6 team.
Tuesday, July 19, 2011
OK, on to the scoreboard. This am I got back on the scale to see what the damage was after a trip to Japan and a weekend in Napa (both locations involved me eating constantly and having lots of wine and beer). As luck would have it, the scale showed that I had lost.....(drumroll)
Granted, a two pound loss in one week isn't setting the world on fire, but when you consider the circumstances, I'm going to put one in the win column for myself this past week*. The two pounds from last week brings my total weight loss to 10 pounds in two weeks. Not bad.
Food journal from yesterday:
Breakfast: Trader Joes lite cottage cheese and berries
Lunch: Chicken breast and a small amount of rice
Dinner: Grilled steak and shrimp with asparagus
Water: 3.5 litres
Extras: Two glasses of red wine
* My scoreboard methodology is to get out of bed on Tuesday mornings, and stand on the same scale, naked as the day I was born.
Monday, July 18, 2011
On the ride in, I saw that the cops were busting up the hobo shantytown under the McFadden bridge. Homeless dudes were wandering around yelling curses into the air and teenage boys (presumably juvenile delinquents) were wearing hazmat suits and cleaning up all the disgusting hobo trash and whatnot. After that, I almost introduced some a$$hole's pug to my foot because that little ankle biter was growling and getting up in my business. Luckily for the pug, he backed off just in time. As a side note, I never can understand why anyone would want a pug. Those are some ugly dogs and they all have that gross protruding anus that just looks you straight in the eye when they're walking away. Horrible breed the pug, should be eradicated from the planet.
Saturday, July 16, 2011
Thursday, July 14, 2011
What you experienced is not only possible but very probable. What you experienced was a release of stored fluid, toxins, and fuel that had not been eliminated yet. For someone your size it's common to have a 2-5 lb swing "overnight"due to the body trying to get "clean" and move some toxins and waste products out of the body. That's what your water helped to do....Detoxify!! Pretty good huh? The human body is really forgiving and justs wants to detox and run clean. Now, you're not going to hit those numbers everyday or....every week, and you will plateau as the body figures out what's going on and tries to hang on to some weight, but that usually does not happen until the last 30% needs to go. In the meantime, eat as clean as you can and a volume that makes sense for energy and know it's for the "Long Haul" and do workouts that will allow you to still be working out 10 years from now and not run the risk of "burning out". The food plan on a daily basis is everything. You have to be smart not compulsive, dedicated but not compulsed. Learning and feeling the health of your body emerging and embracing that Healthy Lifestyle is the Key. You can even start to recognize the kind of "Energy" that companies put into the food they sell us. Think about how Bad the energy level is in a Boxed frozen pizza. The intent and energy of the company and it's work force is so bad that no good nutrients can be present in their products. Care enough about yourself that you try and surround yourself with companies andfarmers who actually put good energy into the soil and into their animals and products. When you start looking at it like that, you'll start to recognize those people who have the ability to partner with you in creating and sustaining a healthier You, and you'll be less inclined to give your money, body and energy to those companies who care not what they create for this vital thing called "Your Life". Be particular, be smart....you can do it. I'll help anyway I can. Take care, you're doing great and happy for you!
Dan PottsAdvanced Athlete, LLC
Great email from a great dude. If you're up in Seattle, I highly recommend Dan's services.
More to come later....
Tuesday, July 12, 2011
Yesterday was nuts. I didn't exercise but I was on my feet for five hours straight, in a suit, in 93 degree weather at 80% humidity. I had to eat when I could so I'm sure calorie consumption was low, but I'm not too sure about the nutritional value of the chow. Among other things, I consumed:
Raw monkfish liver
Some small whole fish that's name means 'shiny eyes'
Raw red clam
Raw regular clam
Raw white fish
Raw sperm glands of 'a big fish' (nearly barfed on that one)
About 70 gallons of sake and seven or eight dozen beers.
I'm sure all of this will come shooting out of my ass at 35000 feet today.
Monday, July 11, 2011
Last night I was treated to teppanyaki here in Nagoya and overall I think it was fairly healthy in terms of eating out. The volume of food was too much, but I don't give a flying rat's ass, you've gotta enjoy when its time to enjoy. In addition to beers and much Saki, the meal consisted of:
For my breakfast this am, I had a great buffet. I opted away from all the American choices (except one small slice o'bacon) and went with a pretty healthy Japanese offering. Check it out below....
I know this was the most boring entry ever, but hey, what else is there to say, I'd rather play with all the gadgets in my hotel room than do blog entries. No workout today, it's my day of.
Sunday, July 10, 2011
The organic beef jerky and raw almond combo posted above is my air travel special. An entire bag of the beef jerky and one small bag of almonds is only 410 calories and has 40 grams of protein and 4 grams of fiber. Obviously you need to eat better meals than beef jerky and almonds, but this is better than fat and sodium laden airline snacks. Normally I'd throw in some protein powder too but I don't think I want to bring a white powdery substance into a foreign country. Last thing I want is for my welcome to Japan to be some guy sticking his whole fist up my ass to see if I'm smuggling anything. I hope to go for a run this am but I'm not sure I'll do it or not.
Journal from yesterday:
Exercise - Leg weight training at the gym and swimming with the kids
Breakfast: Flaxcakes, half a peach, two slices of Canadian bacon
Lunch: Turkey burger patty, green salad, half a slice of Swiss cheese, two slices of this fairly bad tasting low glycemic bread that is supposed to be very good for you.
Afternoon snack: a few cherries
Dinner: Grilled tri tip and green beans
Other stuff: Probably had a bottle of wine throughout the day and nine goldfish crackers. Don't judge me you freaks, it was friggin Saturday for crap's sake and besides, who lost eight pounds?
BONUS: Due to my awesome eating, I've reached the point this week where I'm not feeling hungry between meals and after dinner. This is a critical point to reach because when you don't have the constant desire to chow down on shitty food, its much easier to stay on track! POW!
Saturday, July 9, 2011
The above photo was taken this morning after my massive leg workout at the gym (actually it wasn't that massive because my legs are still a bit sore). I arrived home to find the wife had prepared one of my favorite healthy breakfast dishes...flaxcakes. The flaxcake is not necessarily a replacement for pancakes but its pancake like and actually very delicious. I've even had flaxcakes when I was throwing caution to the wind and not watching what I ate in the least bit. Flaxcakes are awesome, and best of all, they're extremely healthy. If, for just a moment, you can take our eyes off my massive, rippling bicep and focus on the meal I'm holding in my hand, you will see what looks like pancakes and ham. However, this 'pancakes and ham' meal is flaxcakes and Canadian bacon with half a peach. In addition to being yummo and healthy, this meal is packed with very little fat and a whopping 47 grams of protein and seven grams of dietary fiber. It's a great meal to have after weight training and before you want to take a gigantic shit.
Want the recipe? No, I shant give it to you. I've been asked a lot about the food dealio and the plan I'm trying to loosely follow is based on a plan I was given by a nutritionist two years ago and rather than go into detail about the tricks of her trade (I lost over 50 lbs in four months and was lookin fit and good under her instruction), I'll just refer you to her out of respect for her business. Besides, she goes waaaaaay into great detail and personalizes plans for people.
If you're wondering why I'm not seeing said nutritionist again if I had such great results the last time, it's because the more in shape I got, the more she kept flirting with me, calling me at home, making naughty comments, etc. Kidding, I'm not seeing her again just yet for two reasons. Reason #1: It's not cheap...which is probably why it works so good. Reason #2: I'm embarrassed that she got my arse in great shape and now I've just gone and ruined it all!!! Maybe I'll give her a call after a month or so of being awesome.
Here's her name and number so you can call her if you want all the recipes, vitamins, encouragement, nagging, and ultimately...results. I highly recommend her.
Friday, July 8, 2011
Thursday, July 7, 2011
The shower scene was a pleasant surprise this morning. Normally there are plenty of normal showers, but this morning, all the normal showers were taken so I was forced to use the handicap shower. At first I was kind of bummed that I had to use the handi-shower but I quickly realized my disappointment was unfounded. The handicap shower is large enough to park a Volkswagen inside and it has one of those Euro-style handheld shower heads so I was able to take advantage and give the tailpipe a heavy dose of the 'Old Faithful' treatment. I may even move my manscaping routine from home to the handi-shower because, in addition to the Euro-style handheld shower head, it also has a very sturdy bench where you can get your leg up and get uninhibited access to the coin purse. I have no idea what any of this has to do with my quest for fitness but I thought it was worth sharing. Good ride and even better shower this morning. Now I'm going to eat my peaches and cottage cheese.
Wednesday, July 6, 2011
After arriving home and taking care of the customary showering of my hot, naked body, I enjoyed healthy roasted bell peppers stuffed with ground turkey breast. Rumor has it I'm having a glass of wine right now but I don't participate in gossip so I'll just let you make up your own mind. Check out that healthy cuisine!
I've decided I'm riding to and from work again tomorrow but I'll have company. One of my buddies will be meeting me on the SART and we'll go hand and hand down that proud highway ultimately arriving at our cubes where we'll solve all the world's problems.
OK, here are today's stats:
Fitness - described above
Food journal -
Two cups of coffee w/Stevia extract
Breakfast: Trader Joes light cottage cheese and peaches
Snack: Ten organic almonds
Lunch: Pork loin salad with carrots, onions, and 1/4 avocado
Snack: 12 organic almonds (yes, I went big on the snack)
Dinner: Turkey breast stuffed yellow peppers, broccoli and onion stir fried in Napa Valley olive oil (the best olive oil on the planet)
One glass of wine and I'm telling you right now, it may be two