Thursday, July 26, 2012

Confessions of a Lunatic

This is what I had for lunch today.  A nice healthy turkey sandwich with pickles, artisan lettuce (whatever the hell that means), and a slice of Swiss cheese.  Yeah, the sourdough isn't 'perfect' but I was told by my nutritionist once that in the absence of whole grain, low glycemic bread, its a fair choice.  Anywho, the wife commented about how I had a healthy breakfast, went for a run, and followed it up with a healthy lunch.  I was about to just take her compliments and say thank you but I was overcome by guilt and the following words came out of my mouth  "Yeah, I'm feeling bad about eating a whole bag of jelly beans last night".

Now before you say "Well hey man, don't kill yourself, a bag of jelly beans is no big deal", just know when I say a bag of jelly beans, I'm not talking about the Halloween hand out kind of bag o'beans.  I'm not even talking about a movie theater size bag of jelly beans.  I'm talking about go down to Target and pick up a bag of jelly beans that should last you and your whole family a month size bag of jelly beans...and I ate the whole thing, by myself, while I was watching Destination Truth and The Daily Show.

I know, its shameful and embarrassing to admit to such a thing but I think the confession is cathartic and it gives you, my readers, a quick glimpse into the demons that plague me (demons that look like delicious jelly beans with little candy horns).  You're probably asking yourself just how one can sit down and eat a whole bag of jelly beans in one sitting and the answer is:  You just do it.  I'm not saying its easy to power down an entire bag of jelly beans, it takes dedication, discipline, and an unyielding commitment to the job, but what can I say, I'm that kind of guy, a professional.

Anyone know where I can get a good deal on insulin?

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