Sunday, December 4, 2011

Totally Normal

I'm just going to come right out with it, I've blown off four days of training this week and I am ashamed (not really).  The lack of training has been weighing heavy on my mind and that always causes me to waste time by filling my mind with other things.  For instance, just this weekend, I spent a good hour discussing Space Muff with my buddies Ogre and The Thrill.

Ogre and The Thrill, while both normal, gainfully employed guys on the outside, are two flesh and bone databases of all things science fiction.  Ogre and The Thrill's unreal sci fi knowledge is so great, the government should declare their brains national treasures.  Since Ogre and The Thrill contain so much sci fi knowledge, its easy to draw them offsides with a simple comment and get them to send dozens of emails discussing any given particular topic on the genre.  The topic this weekend started with me telling Ogre that #6 from The Battlestar Gallactica series isn't all that hot.  This spawned a massive discussion on Space Muff in general (Space Muff is hot sci fi chicks) that ended with me, who had gotten in way over my head, asking Ogre and The Thrill to provide me with their top five lists of all time hottest space muff in order (one being top space muff).  Before I give the lists, I'd like to mention that I am honored to be the first person to document such important items from the brains of Ogre and The Thrill

The Thrill:

I'm not sure about the order of The Thrill's space muff list so I'm going to go in the order he listed, starting with the bottom:

#5 Hottest Space Muff....Grace Park

#4 Hottest Space Muff...Carrie Fisher

#3 Hottest Space Muff...Erin Gray

#2 Hottest Space Muff...Anne Lockhart

#1 Hottest Space Muff...Jenny Agutter

And now for Ogre's list:

#5 Hottest Space Muff...Jennifer Agutter

#4 Hottest Space Muff...Tricia Helfer

#3 Hottest Space Muff...Sybil Danning

#2 Hottest Space Muff...Jerry Ryan

#1 Hottest Space Muff...Natasha Henstridge

Observations from yours truly:

  • Apparently Ogre and The Thrill have no issues with having stuff from the 70's and 80's still hanging around in the spank bank
  • Neither one of them went for an alien being with green skin or anything.  I find this strange but I'm into some crazy stuff
  • Ogre pointed out that his #1 pick, from the movie 'Species' is still his #1 "even with the razor sharp quills and death after sex issues factored in".  I love it that he factored painful death after banging her and still puts her at the top of his list.  Just so great.
  • The only chick to make both lists was Jessica from Logan's run so I have to think that was a very early and positive memory for Ogre and The Thrill
  • The Thrill and Ogre both picked Mathilda May from 'Lifeforce' as an honorable mention.  I had never heard of her before but when I googled her, I was immediately greeted with 800 topless photos so I'm guessing Mathilda was naked in most of that movie and that's why Ogre and The Thrill both like her.  And why not, who doesn't like a space vampire who has no problem getting her juggs out?
  • In general, it seems that The Thrill likes space muff that has military rank (I'm guessing he likes to be tied up and degraded) while Ogre prefers deadly villain space muff (wants it to hurt).  Either way, both The Thrill and Ogre like to be dominated.  Sick bastards.
  • Ogre submitted another list of 'Fantasy/Adventure muff'.  Ogre clearly spends a great deal of time thinking about movie muff in general.

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