Thursday, February 9, 2012

Serena is On the Disabled List

Well for f*cks sake, when I was almost home yesterday I blew out another spoke.  To say the spoke issue is depressing is a major understatement, that's the third one in a month.  For one, I didn't get to ride to work today.  For another, I had to pedal my bike the last half mile home with a wobbly wheel like some spazz.  Not as important but equally lame, I'm starting to feel like the dork kid who got a Huffy for Christmas when all of his friends got a Mongoose, Redline, or, the most badass 1980's BMX bike of them all, the PK Ripper.

Feeling dejected and like my bike sucks, I did some research online today and discovered the following:
  • Spoke breakage is totally unrelated to weight so you comedians can save your comments about my ass being too big to ride a bike.
  • Apparently, once you break one spoke, it causes stress on a bunch of the other spokes because the wheel tension is off so further broken spokes are almost certainly going to happen if you don't have a serious professional re-do the wheel
  • I'm a well hung stud who ladies love (ok, that wasn't online but its true)

So, like all Americans, rather than taking any of the blame myself, I decided to blame my local bike store and find an authorized Specialized repair place and go there.  After a quick search on Google and Yelp, I found The Path Bike Shop in Tustin, CA.  Feeling like there might be some light at the end of the tunnel, I informed my co-workers that I'd be 'working from the road' and rushed home and went to The Path.  When I got there, I was surprised...simply put, this unassuming bike shop is seriously badass. 

I brought Serena inside and found the repair dude and, while trying not to cry, explained to him that I kept breaking spokes.  The guy assured me that even with my large size and fully loaded dual pannier bag, there's no way weight is an issue.  Apparently the stuff I read online is correct and once you break a spoke, its likely they'll keep breaking because of the uneven tension created by the first one.  He checked all the spokes and showed me that there were three other ones getting ready to go.  Bike repair guy suggested I get a new wheel and it would be sixty bucks.  I told him to get me a new wheel at once.  He then, sheepishly suggested that since I ride nearly every day, I may want to get a 'nicer' wheel.  I braced myself for the price tag of the 'nicer' wheel but then he said "That will be like....eighty-five dollars".  HOOK ME UP DUDE!!!  At this  point I was already thinking about how much I love The Path Bike Shop and then "Sappy" by Nirvana came on the sound system and it took my love of this heretofore unknown bike shop to a whole new level.  Unfortunately, my joy soon came to an end when bike repair guy told me he'd need to order the new wheel and it would be a week.  As soon as bike repair guy said I'd be waiting a weeek, Nancy Nofun at the cash register changed the song to something lame.  Long story short, Serena is in the hopefully capable hands of bike repair dude at The Path Bike Shop.  So far the gear, bikes, knowledgeable staff, etc. at this joint seem to be totally legit.  As long as they get Serena back to me in top shape, they'll have a customer for life.

The only part of this whole experience that made no sense to me whatsoever was the conversation I had with my wife when we were leaving the bike store.  It went as follows:

Me:  "Well, that place was cool and I think $85 sounds like a good deal.  Hopefully the new wheel will mean I don't get stranded anymore"

Wife:  "Hahaha...Serena's getting new shoes.  You spend more on her than you do on me!"

Me:  "Oh've gotta be shitting me"

Wife:  "No, if your bike's getting new shoes, I should get new shoes"

Me:  "What the f*ck are you talking about?"

Wife:  "I should get a new pair of Christian Louboutin shoes"

Me:  "Don't those things cost like eight hundred bucks a pair?"

Wife:  "Well, you're spending $85 on new shoes for Serena!"

Me:  "What??  That doesn't even make any sense.  What are you talking about?"

Wife:  "Yup, you'll see"

Me:  "I'll see what????"

Wife:  silence....

I'll miss you Serena, get well soon.

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