So I hit the weight room today for a massive workout that body builders will tell stories about for decades to come.  During said workout, I noticed the pipes are looking pretty impressive, like coiled steel under fine leather.  Unfortunately, when I got to the locker room, I realized I’m dangerously close to not passing what I call ‘the towel test’.

The towel test is whether or not the gym towel can wrap around you and stay up on its own and let me tell you, today, it was hanging on by a thread.  When I look down, I can still clearly see Hogzilla but I think that has more to do with my superior manly genetics and not my efforts at getting in shape.  Long story short, I need to do something about my food intake in a hurry.

Obviously the holiday season is a pretty crappy time to try and watch what one eats, but I’m going to try and tone it down a bit and maybe not be quite as festive with the chow as I normally would be.  I also need to use these next couple of weeks to formulate a nutrition plan that will allow me to pass the towel test with flying colors.  Heck, I might even go with the old tape measure around the waist to see how many inches I can shave off.  I need to research the proper way to measure one’s waste…I know when you measure your pecker you start at your asshole and go all the way to the tip, but I’m not sure on the waist measuring process so I’ll get back to you on that one.